Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
