i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
