I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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