@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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