life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
