dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
