so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize