I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
