its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
