Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
nut hugger
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
