Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
