Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
