he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Randomize
