i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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