I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
