I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize