Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
