Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
