You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
