Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she smelled like a LAN party
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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