My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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