i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
