I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
