Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
