I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
