Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
