no, he came in my armpit
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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