Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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