Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
