iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
