we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
