I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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