haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
