shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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