super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
