In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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