happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
