a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize