Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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