nutella sex= disaster
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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