Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
