there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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