Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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