I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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