I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
