I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
