Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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