I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
