Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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