considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize