dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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