He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
