Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
