Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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