I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
