Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
