it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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