Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
