your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Someone signed my nipple.
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