My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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