dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize