this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
