so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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