So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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