who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to stop coming to work sober
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
