Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
