D3 body, D1 cock
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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