Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
