So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is classic penis vs brain.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
