I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
