I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
