There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let's get the cat blown out
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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