I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
