My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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